Have Your Recovery Kit Ready
Prepare your recovery kit before having the baby. As moms, we often focus on what to pack for the hospital bag or make sure the nursery is all set but don’t think much about what we will need when we get home. I didn’t have many of these prior to coming home and scrambled to get them. They make premade postpartum sets that have many of these items but honestly, it’s probably cheaper to just buy them individually because you will need more than what the premade kits provide, most likely.
Here is what I used to help with recovery:
Ice pads - you can make your own by buying pads, getting them wet and putting them in the freezer or just buy the Fridamom pads or take all you can from the hospital.
Depends/Adult Diapers - I wish I could wear these every day! They were actually very comfortable and so convenient. Wearing the Depends was easier, especially in the beginning, instead of wearing a large pad.
Perineal spray or witch hazel pads- this helps with the itching or pain. Put one in every bathroom for easy access.
Perineal spray bottle - to help keep it clean down there, also keep one of these in every bathroom. I bought the one linked here but also used the one they gave me in the hospital.
Stool Softener - to help with #2’s. I took stool softeners for 6 weeks because I had a significant tear and not once felt pain going #2, halleluiah!
Advil & Tylenol - to help manage any pain you may be in.
Sleep mask - to help you nap during the day. I had never used one prior to having a baby but boy does it help with daytime naps.
Fuzzy Robe - If you are breastfeeding, your boobs will be out all the time, which your husband/partner will love lol. I lived in my fuzzy robe day in and day out because it just made life so much easier than wearing clothes or putting on a nursing bra. Plus if your nipples hurt or get beat up, as mine did, anything that touched them hurt except for the robe.
If you plan on breastfeeding here are some things to make sure you have on hand:
Heat/Cooling pads - these were a lifesaver when your milk starts coming in, if you are engorged, or want to help your supply. I had two sets, one was always in the freezer and the other was ready to just heat up.
Disposable Nursing Pads – I was a waterfall in the beginning when it came to leaking, it is the most annoying thing, you wake up in puddles, clothes soaked, and it just keeps going. The reusable pads are eco-friendly and great but you will go through them so quickly that it is hard to keep up with keeping them clean. Just buy the disposable ones.
Breast Shells – Now breast shells are never going to be leakproof so you can’t go doing yoga or bend over but these help with the leaking plus you can save what you collected and start a freezer stash if you want. When breastfeeding I would put one on the opposite breast as I would always leak, some people use the haakaa but I never had a liking to it.
Lanolin Nipple Cream - This helps soothe those sensitive, overstimulated or cracked nipples. I like getting the small ones and keep them spread around the house in each area I would breastfeed (the bedroom, nursery and living room) that way it was always nearby.
Take all the help you can get
We do not have to do it all, REPEAT, we do not have to do it all! We feel that we should be able to handle taking care of a newborn, keeping the house clean, cooking, and laundry but really what we need is REST. You just carried a child for 9 months and birthed it. Your body needs to rest and recover and the quickest way to recovery is through rest.
I am not afraid to say that I did not enjoy the newborn phase. The lack of sleep, constant struggle with breastfeeding, emotional ups and downs, and body changes… I was not for it. I couldn’t wait to get over it and you know what, I discovered I am not alone on this one. What helped me get through the first weeks was taking all the help I could get. The book The First Forty Days really opened up my eyes to how important and deserving we are to rest and recover after a baby. Ways people can help:
Have family/friends/hired help take the baby when they are not feeding to allow you to rest. I had family spend a night(s) to help with the night shift in the first 2 weeks or someone would be here during the day to take the baby so I could catch up on sleep. This helped tremendously. I didn’t know sleep deprivation until I had a child and our own well-being is just as important.
Ask for meals. Ask friends or family to bring you meals because cooking is the last thing you want to do, or if you don’t have people who can just drop food off, prepare meals for the freezer before the baby comes or ask for a food delivery service gift card (DoorDash/Uber eats, etc.) or gift cards for restaurants nearby.
Have someone walk/exercise your dogs if you have them. Many of us have dogs before we ever have kids and our pets become our fur babies. We often feel guilty for the lack of attention they get but if you just don’t have the energy to dedicate to them in the beginning, ask someone to walk or play with them for you.
Seek professional help or join a support group. Our lives are changing in so many ways and having someone to talk to or confide in can go such a long way.
Find a lactation consultant prior to birth
If you decide to breastfeed or pump, find a lactation consultant prior to having your baby. What people don’t talk enough about is how challenging the breastfeeding journey can be. For some, it comes naturally, but for many, it is hard. From the painful latches, engorgement, mastitis, under/overproducing, latch difficulties, lip/tongue ties…. The list goes on. Many people give up trying breastfeeding quickly because they don’t have the support
Some hospitals may already have a consultant onsite but it is good to confirm or find someone off-site. Reach out to let them know you are expecting soon to confirm they are taking on new patients. I didn’t start working with a lactation consultant until a month in and I wish I got help sooner. Meet with a lactation consultant who can help you, if breastfeeding is your goal. Here you can find an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant near you.
Prepare Your Breast Pump & Bottles
Learn how to use your breast pump prior to the baby arriving and have bottles ready for use. You may plan to exclusively breastfeed but some people unexpectedly need to supplement with formula, start pumping or bottle feed. If this happens, first remember you are a great mom! The last thing you want to stress about is learning how to use your pump, finding or buying bottles, and then cleaning them all. I struggled with breastfeeding and when I went to my lactation consultant she told me to start triple feeding to help my son gain weight (breastfeed, pump and bottle feed). I was not ready for this and wish I was more prepared. Also, get a hands-free pumping bra in advance, when you are caring for a newborn, no one has two hands to hold those things.
Find a Pelvic Floor Therapist
You just birthed a child, your body is not the same it was prior to pregnancy. Seeing a pelvic floor therapist, even just once, is something so many women do not even consider. They can help with any pain you are experiencing, help with diastasis rectus abdominis (separation of your abs), or even prepare you for when you are ready to take the step of having sex again because pain during sex is not normal! You also don’t have to be in pain to see a pelvic floor therapist. I recommend finding someone who specializes in this area or women’s health. This video can be helpful to learn more about pelvic floor therapy and what to expect in your visit.
Take a newborn course
I am someone who did not babysit growing up and changed only 1 diaper prior to having my child. I had limited knowledge of caring for a baby. I needed some help in learning what to do or expect at the beginning with this little human. I was pregnant during the pandemic so an in-person course was not possible but there are so many great programs out there to help prepare you. I took the Karing for Postpartum courses which went over breastfeeding, pumping, caring for a newborn and more.
Be Gentle With Yourself
This goes without saying but you are going to be a great mom. Everyone experiences motherhood differently. I did not like the newborn phase one bit and had moments I wish I never put myself through this and that is okay. We are still our own person, even though it doesn’t feel like it and everything is changing about us. It will take time to come to terms with your new life and a new body. Allow those tears to flow, to feel what you feel and know you are doing everything you need to be doing. Trust yourself, you got this!
I hope these 7 tips help you in preparing to welcome your little human into this world. Let me know in the comments below what helped you as a first-time mom or what you wish you knew back then.